Post by RAVENPAW on Dec 21, 2013 16:55:20 GMT -6
S H A D O W C L A N
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE, I LOVE YOU, THAT'S ALL I REALLY KNOW.
this layout was made by specklized for fidelis strictly.
anyone who steals this template will be reported.
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE, I LOVE YOU, THAT'S ALL I REALLY KNOW.
personality
they call her bright
inquisitive
imaginative
very polite
lovely.
---
ravenpaw grew up with skin like paper that can’t take the weight of criticisms though she tries to thicken it. she gets offended easily, but she tries to act like she isn’t bothered at all. her skin is like paper, though, and her nose shines bright and rosy to defy you. she’s the pretty miss, the darling child.
---
she has already learned that her primary job in life is going to be the sister- the gluer together.
she’s okay with this.
---
sometimes, she likes to play with words. it’s mindless fun- she’s a big fan of speeches; it’s nice to attempt to go on long upset monologues trying to convey something beautiful instead. she falls in love a little bit with the stories that the elders tell her and get upset that she has nobody to sympathize with her. she tells the stories to all of her siblings, recapped from the beginning-- but when their interests begin to wane, she rewrite the stories. suddenly, the cat becomes a hero and she fought off the foxes during the adventure.
she likes watching cats’s eyes dance with interest.
she likes being storyteller.
---
very rarely does she break rules
(--- and there's a very
good reason for that)
it’s her duty as an older sister to look after her younger brothers and her sister. she likes to think she does a good job.
---
she doesn’t like being labelled an introvert.
she likes being around people, being included.
she doesn’t particularly favor the times she stays inside, she just knows how to keep herself company in that empty, hardly satisfying way-- like how a meal replacement never feels like a meal. she doesn’t like being labelled an introvert because it feels like the easiest assumption-- like, just because she’s quiet, she must be.
but she loves to talk!
she loves to hum under her breath!
she loves to share her stories and ramble for days on end and be with people who'll listen!
but there are two sorts of volume: the sort that accounts for the amount something takes up in a glass or bowl, and the sort that accounts for how loud something sounds.
just because she tell her stories, doesn't mean anyone hears.
she bites her tongue and accepts her shy introvert stereotype, fill those shoes like she's worn them all your life--
but there's something that tells her no.
she will not be silenced with the reputation of the "shy girl".
(and that struggle for a voice is what made her absolutely sure she was going to be leader when she grew up- just like her father. she wants to share others' stories, she wants to highlight the good and uplifting, she wants to be heard.)
---
ravenpaw is very big on family.
(it seems like the biggest hazard sign for a dysfunctional household when these sorts of niceties are enforced like laws-- well, at least by her. lose that scowl or i'll draw a smile on your face for you!)
she sticks by her siblings like glue to paper and makes sure that they stay in line- her father loves her for it. for being the motherly role, for always being dependable. and she does it for the affection and the attention that she receives from ashenstar.
she has to admit, most of
them are brats but she'll do
whatever needs to be done
to keep them together and
happy
---
she sees this darkness inside of other's eyes when she looks into their eyes. she has this darkness inside of her that's eating--
(why isn't she good at anything? why isn't she as brave as wolfpaw? why isn't she as smart as gorsepaw? why isn't she as reliant as dapplepaw? what is she lacking?)
what is she good at?
all she wants is to be good
at something.
at anything.
inquisitive
imaginative
very polite
lovely.
---
ravenpaw grew up with skin like paper that can’t take the weight of criticisms though she tries to thicken it. she gets offended easily, but she tries to act like she isn’t bothered at all. her skin is like paper, though, and her nose shines bright and rosy to defy you. she’s the pretty miss, the darling child.
---
she has already learned that her primary job in life is going to be the sister- the gluer together.
she’s okay with this.
---
sometimes, she likes to play with words. it’s mindless fun- she’s a big fan of speeches; it’s nice to attempt to go on long upset monologues trying to convey something beautiful instead. she falls in love a little bit with the stories that the elders tell her and get upset that she has nobody to sympathize with her. she tells the stories to all of her siblings, recapped from the beginning-- but when their interests begin to wane, she rewrite the stories. suddenly, the cat becomes a hero and she fought off the foxes during the adventure.
she likes watching cats’s eyes dance with interest.
she likes being storyteller.
---
very rarely does she break rules
(--- and there's a very
good reason for that)
it’s her duty as an older sister to look after her younger brothers and her sister. she likes to think she does a good job.
---
she doesn’t like being labelled an introvert.
she likes being around people, being included.
she doesn’t particularly favor the times she stays inside, she just knows how to keep herself company in that empty, hardly satisfying way-- like how a meal replacement never feels like a meal. she doesn’t like being labelled an introvert because it feels like the easiest assumption-- like, just because she’s quiet, she must be.
but she loves to talk!
she loves to hum under her breath!
she loves to share her stories and ramble for days on end and be with people who'll listen!
but there are two sorts of volume: the sort that accounts for the amount something takes up in a glass or bowl, and the sort that accounts for how loud something sounds.
just because she tell her stories, doesn't mean anyone hears.
she bites her tongue and accepts her shy introvert stereotype, fill those shoes like she's worn them all your life--
but there's something that tells her no.
she will not be silenced with the reputation of the "shy girl".
(and that struggle for a voice is what made her absolutely sure she was going to be leader when she grew up- just like her father. she wants to share others' stories, she wants to highlight the good and uplifting, she wants to be heard.)
---
ravenpaw is very big on family.
(it seems like the biggest hazard sign for a dysfunctional household when these sorts of niceties are enforced like laws-- well, at least by her. lose that scowl or i'll draw a smile on your face for you!)
she sticks by her siblings like glue to paper and makes sure that they stay in line- her father loves her for it. for being the motherly role, for always being dependable. and she does it for the affection and the attention that she receives from ashenstar.
she has to admit, most of
them are brats but she'll do
whatever needs to be done
to keep them together and
happy
---
she sees this darkness inside of other's eyes when she looks into their eyes. she has this darkness inside of her that's eating--
(why isn't she good at anything? why isn't she as brave as wolfpaw? why isn't she as smart as gorsepaw? why isn't she as reliant as dapplepaw? what is she lacking?)
what is she good at?
all she wants is to be good
at something.
at anything.
history
birth
it’s all fine until her ears started to sink below the water level. her chest feels constricted and she’s overwhelmingly cold. all sound is washed away with an oxymoronically deafening roar. she thrashes and she panics for what feels like millennia but equates to the passing of seconds. she gasps for air and wipes at her face...
it’s a girl! she hears unintelligible words, still unable to comprehend what is happening to her. the cold chill slaps against her face as she thrashes around, trying to find the warmth again. she hears shrieks and she feels the warmth of the body she came from disappear. she hears cries and hears the gasps and she thrashes around unable to understand what is happening- what is going on. she doesn’t know what is going on. she feels warm tongues lapping against her body, trying to warm her up and she closes her eyes and is lulled away by the rhythm.
she hears sounds of leaves rustling, clumsy paws turning her around. and she had never felt so incredibly out of place. she’s shocked and scared and as soon as she can unsquint her eyes -- big, bright, glassy -- she sees a large man with sad eyes looking at her. the roaring of odd voices makes her think. and this one-- ravenkit, she shakes her head, her ears popping out of her head; her eyes burn when he sighs (why is he disappointed?). he stares at her long and hard before moving to the other three, squirming around, unable to keep still.
kithood
she's only been speaking for a couple of days and she's learned so much already and does not hesitate to share the news with the other bodies that squirm with her (she later realizes that they already knew what she was talking about, but shut their mouths and nod their heads to amuse her).
firstly, she goes around telling everyone that her father is very good at his job. and she asks him what he does, and he tells her several times that he’s in charge of the whole clan. her eyes go big and tells everyone that her father is ashenstar and he must be special because he has a star in his name- like starclan- which she still doesn't understand the concept of, but stars are pretty, so they must be important.
secondly, her mother is very good at taking care of her and her siblings. she’s going to be very quiet and she’s going to like her a great deal more because of it-- she finds out later on that she isn’t her mother, but she is a lot like her anyways.
thirdly, she has three other kittens who don't look like her but smell like her. and she goes around telling everyone how smart gorsekit is and how lovely dapplekit is and how fierce wolfkit is and she goes around telling everyone that they will be inseparable. they will always be together because that's what family is, right? together.
-------------
she's almost big enough to be an apprentice now, but she still shrinks away at the sight of the cold liquid which reaches past her ankles, and she hunches her shoulders up instinctively, her claws are out as if it would be enough to keep her still. she wades in deeper, until it sloshes ever up her legs, coating goose’s flesh in its glistening sheen. she reflects the light so much better in a layer of water; she shimmers like a star. she denies the water the softness of her fur when she’s with her family, but when pressured by her friends, she dons the guise of an old lover.
come on ravenkit!
the water is lovely out here!
she keeps her eyes fixed at her paws, the illusion of their distortion, on a carpet formed from the zigzags of the sand like the curls of coral but softer. it’s pleasant, actually, and you don’t hurry to be deeper in the lake where your friends are, giggling and laughing and shrieking and squawking like birds. they’re all the way out where the water reaches their bellies and dampening the chest hairs that, but ravenkit catches up to them and she’s glad when she does.
she feels like one of them, unbounded by phobia or secret under the watchful eye of the happy queens, finally glad to get some fresh air.
they float on the surface of the water, suspended by the water. they graceful, the way that they dip their head into the water and laugh at the sights underneath. she is like a duckling. they don’t need to pressure her with their words or their eyes. she holds her breath, closes her eyes, and tries to look underneath like they do. something warps around her paws- the smallest of creatures- she panics regardless. ravenkit’s head goes under and she writhes, her body spinning and her eyes opening in shock.
so this is what it looks like
underwater
frankly it
isn't worth the hype
what feels like millennia but equates to the passing of seconds.
she pops out of the water, choking -- coughing those awful, sputtering coughs as her lungs heave.
her friends--
they're laughing.
------------------
her father normally can't look her in the eyes, but he makes sure to take care of the rest of them. she feels his chill from across the nursery and she sees the darkness consume his eyes. but today he walks straight towards her, licks the top of her head.
you are exactly like your mother, i'm proud ravenkit.
he smiles. she feels a great warmth wash over her.
apprenticeship
she has one of the best days of her life. as an apprentice, she has to go on patrols, and train, and hunt for the clan. but it’s one of those days where they don’t have anything for her to do, and she’s out the door in a heartbeat and an adventure plays with her appetite. it’s also one of those days that makes her feel like a unit --- like one of them. mintpaw actually seems happy, nightpaw’s… nightpaw. and she doesn’t worry about a thing. they walk together in the trees, out of bushes, into abandoned twoleg houses, onto those roofs. she experiences the territory in a way she’ll never forget- it was a day of dares and laughter and it ended with catching prey and watching the sunset.
she’s laughing at the vole’s blood on mintpaw’s nose, when mintpaw lets out a moan and a high pitched shriek (they shouldn’t have eaten the prey, but they were hungry). ravenpaw’s heart drops in the worst way. mintpaw lets out a gasp before falling asleep--- to her death.
just because mintpaw isn’t there doesn’t mean the party’s over.
ravenpaw is anxious on the way home, the prey they caught in her mouth as nightpaw drags the cold heavy body of her frien.. ravenpaw shakes in the worst way and she feels like she never wants to eat again--- that’s how bad her body’s reacting. they walk into the camp, and look around at the panic-filled cats and dead bodies around the clan. she walks in silence, nightpaw puts the body in the center.
ashenstar is in the center, looking at the sight around them.
featherwing’s lips are drawn in a tight line.
what in starclan’s name were you doing out there
i was out with mintpaw and nightpaw-- tigerlily said i could!
oh, that nightpaw again, huh? what were you thinking--
you don’t know anything! he’s my best friend!
watch your tone; we don’t have time for your attitude.
i am (an angry hiss on her lips)
don’t give me that. is that what you’re learning from him? how to talk back after you give us a hard time? you could have died out there!
no, we didn’t know..
you would have known if you did what you were told-- i don’t mind if you have fun, but where and what were you doing all day?!
-
you were out, and the dead bodies came rolling in, we couldn’t warn you not to eat the prey because of you-- no one knew where you were! do you know how worried we’ve been?
i'm sorry.
it’s a little too late for that ravenpaw. i don’t want to deal with you right now. go visit the medicine cat, make sure you wash your mouth with all of that blood from the poison and go fetch some fresh water and do what needs to be done. if you had done what needed to be done, mintpaw would have been alive right now--
ravenpaw cries, regretting the best day of her life-- regretting it all because even the way nightpaw looked at her today couldn’t make up for how stupid and awful you feel right now for mintpaw. you’re consumed by jealousy and neglect and an overwhelming feeling of injustice and guilt.
the world goes on.
the journey
there’s an anxiety that builds in her stomach-- something familiar, typically followed by disaster-- and it bubbles up until it licks at her head. her jawline tickles with some warmth and she feels ill. everyone’s having fun, but she can’t stop the nerves in her tails that makes it twitch like she’s rehearsing the world’s quietest composition.
everyone’s laughing and having fun, but she’s so done.
ravenpaw sees the girls giggle and laugh at something nightpaw says and she feels nervous. she wants to go home (she knows that they can’t go home now that ashenstar has led them to the unknown, but she wants to go back to her clan- not be with these strange cats from other clans), she wants him to take her home, she wants to be out of this place with his pelt brushing her and the warmth of his breath on her cheek. she wants to feel like the only girl who matters again, but it’s hard to do.
(they're all so pretty. they're pretty in ways she’s not, though. she feels like a photograph of the landscape, while they are the actual scene. they talk pretty, they move pretty, there's something pretty about the way they laugh -- they sound like the pretty girls in. it makes her want to cry but her jaw clenches indignantly)
i want to go back
nobody hears her over the chatter (nobody even tries).
ravenpaw tries to catch his eyes as subtly as possible-- it doesn’t work.
she finishes whatever’s left of her prey and gets up, gets out, gets away from the center where all the clan cats are huddling and steps to her father’s warmth. it’s not the golden ship that she wanted-- no whispered secrets. she sit down next to him with a huff- that’s the most rage she can express and sleeps when she realizes that she’s been repeating the same line in her head thirty times
the siren of the springs of guilty song… the siren of the springs of guilty song… the siren of the springs of guilty song…
arrival
she watches nightpaw help build the camp and she sits in the clearing resting her twisted paw-- good god ravenpaw! why don’t you just go have babies with him already! dapplepaw teases. ravenpaw tells them that the main reason she hangs out with him so much is that his family died by the poisoning (of course she ignores the fact that she’s been in love with him the very minute you met him; dapplepaw doesn’t need to know things like that).
she wouldn’t spend time away from nightpaw for the world.
she won’t deny it (-- she’s already unabashedly in love with him, so what else is there to deny?): watching nightpaw makes her heart swoon.
he always finds a way to throw a parade. that's the sort of person he is (she wishes she could be so exciting!) there's this unmistakable way he moves his body, but she doesn’t know how to describe it. with all the cohesion of the letters she sticks together, there's none remotely coherent. there's springs in his steps and she swears she can hear his laughter all the way over here, and it makes her laugh too, clasping paws over her mouth in the recoil of embarrassment
how are you doing?
ashenstar sits down next to her and she looks at her father. sometimes, she loses track of who’s whom, all busy- but she can never lose her father (-- or nightpaw, but that’s a different story).
i’m alright, how are you doing? you look tired, you should rest.
there's still a lot to do, what are you doing? not resting?
there’s a lot to do. what’s worrying you?
starclan-- they haven’t heard anything from them yet.
she looked at her father’s worried gaze, looked at the blackness that was threatening to overwhelm him, and she felt that blackness too- but she couldn’t tell him. she couldn’t tell anyone.
don’t worry. they’ll find us do-- they always do.
she comforted, putting her tail on her father’s shoulder and he blinked in appreciation before standing back up to go organize some patrols. she looked back over at nightpaw, dancing on the edges of the camp walls, threatening to lose his balance and fall to his death. it makes her nervous, almost; but his face looks etched in triumph, chiselled with victory. he looked seasoned with cold, effortless success, and he looks her way before smiling with brambles in his mouth. ravenpaw flushs immediately.
for once, she doubts nightpaw.
for once, she’s afraid he’ll get hurt.
he doesn't.
of course he doesn't,
(but ravenpaw doubted him, and that's the reason she stays up all night-- not the silence of the stars--swathed in the periwinkle glow of the moon, unable to find the stars and her ancestors, and considering maybe -- maybe -- it's time to grow up.
maybe it's time to stop
waiting for nightpaw.)
it’s all fine until her ears started to sink below the water level. her chest feels constricted and she’s overwhelmingly cold. all sound is washed away with an oxymoronically deafening roar. she thrashes and she panics for what feels like millennia but equates to the passing of seconds. she gasps for air and wipes at her face...
it’s a girl! she hears unintelligible words, still unable to comprehend what is happening to her. the cold chill slaps against her face as she thrashes around, trying to find the warmth again. she hears shrieks and she feels the warmth of the body she came from disappear. she hears cries and hears the gasps and she thrashes around unable to understand what is happening- what is going on. she doesn’t know what is going on. she feels warm tongues lapping against her body, trying to warm her up and she closes her eyes and is lulled away by the rhythm.
she hears sounds of leaves rustling, clumsy paws turning her around. and she had never felt so incredibly out of place. she’s shocked and scared and as soon as she can unsquint her eyes -- big, bright, glassy -- she sees a large man with sad eyes looking at her. the roaring of odd voices makes her think. and this one-- ravenkit, she shakes her head, her ears popping out of her head; her eyes burn when he sighs (why is he disappointed?). he stares at her long and hard before moving to the other three, squirming around, unable to keep still.
kithood
she's only been speaking for a couple of days and she's learned so much already and does not hesitate to share the news with the other bodies that squirm with her (she later realizes that they already knew what she was talking about, but shut their mouths and nod their heads to amuse her).
firstly, she goes around telling everyone that her father is very good at his job. and she asks him what he does, and he tells her several times that he’s in charge of the whole clan. her eyes go big and tells everyone that her father is ashenstar and he must be special because he has a star in his name- like starclan- which she still doesn't understand the concept of, but stars are pretty, so they must be important.
secondly, her mother is very good at taking care of her and her siblings. she’s going to be very quiet and she’s going to like her a great deal more because of it-- she finds out later on that she isn’t her mother, but she is a lot like her anyways.
thirdly, she has three other kittens who don't look like her but smell like her. and she goes around telling everyone how smart gorsekit is and how lovely dapplekit is and how fierce wolfkit is and she goes around telling everyone that they will be inseparable. they will always be together because that's what family is, right? together.
-------------
she's almost big enough to be an apprentice now, but she still shrinks away at the sight of the cold liquid which reaches past her ankles, and she hunches her shoulders up instinctively, her claws are out as if it would be enough to keep her still. she wades in deeper, until it sloshes ever up her legs, coating goose’s flesh in its glistening sheen. she reflects the light so much better in a layer of water; she shimmers like a star. she denies the water the softness of her fur when she’s with her family, but when pressured by her friends, she dons the guise of an old lover.
come on ravenkit!
the water is lovely out here!
she keeps her eyes fixed at her paws, the illusion of their distortion, on a carpet formed from the zigzags of the sand like the curls of coral but softer. it’s pleasant, actually, and you don’t hurry to be deeper in the lake where your friends are, giggling and laughing and shrieking and squawking like birds. they’re all the way out where the water reaches their bellies and dampening the chest hairs that, but ravenkit catches up to them and she’s glad when she does.
she feels like one of them, unbounded by phobia or secret under the watchful eye of the happy queens, finally glad to get some fresh air.
they float on the surface of the water, suspended by the water. they graceful, the way that they dip their head into the water and laugh at the sights underneath. she is like a duckling. they don’t need to pressure her with their words or their eyes. she holds her breath, closes her eyes, and tries to look underneath like they do. something warps around her paws- the smallest of creatures- she panics regardless. ravenkit’s head goes under and she writhes, her body spinning and her eyes opening in shock.
so this is what it looks like
underwater
frankly it
isn't worth the hype
what feels like millennia but equates to the passing of seconds.
she pops out of the water, choking -- coughing those awful, sputtering coughs as her lungs heave.
her friends--
they're laughing.
------------------
her father normally can't look her in the eyes, but he makes sure to take care of the rest of them. she feels his chill from across the nursery and she sees the darkness consume his eyes. but today he walks straight towards her, licks the top of her head.
you are exactly like your mother, i'm proud ravenkit.
he smiles. she feels a great warmth wash over her.
apprenticeship
she has one of the best days of her life. as an apprentice, she has to go on patrols, and train, and hunt for the clan. but it’s one of those days where they don’t have anything for her to do, and she’s out the door in a heartbeat and an adventure plays with her appetite. it’s also one of those days that makes her feel like a unit --- like one of them. mintpaw actually seems happy, nightpaw’s… nightpaw. and she doesn’t worry about a thing. they walk together in the trees, out of bushes, into abandoned twoleg houses, onto those roofs. she experiences the territory in a way she’ll never forget- it was a day of dares and laughter and it ended with catching prey and watching the sunset.
she’s laughing at the vole’s blood on mintpaw’s nose, when mintpaw lets out a moan and a high pitched shriek (they shouldn’t have eaten the prey, but they were hungry). ravenpaw’s heart drops in the worst way. mintpaw lets out a gasp before falling asleep--- to her death.
just because mintpaw isn’t there doesn’t mean the party’s over.
ravenpaw is anxious on the way home, the prey they caught in her mouth as nightpaw drags the cold heavy body of her frien.. ravenpaw shakes in the worst way and she feels like she never wants to eat again--- that’s how bad her body’s reacting. they walk into the camp, and look around at the panic-filled cats and dead bodies around the clan. she walks in silence, nightpaw puts the body in the center.
ashenstar is in the center, looking at the sight around them.
featherwing’s lips are drawn in a tight line.
what in starclan’s name were you doing out there
i was out with mintpaw and nightpaw-- tigerlily said i could!
oh, that nightpaw again, huh? what were you thinking--
you don’t know anything! he’s my best friend!
watch your tone; we don’t have time for your attitude.
i am (an angry hiss on her lips)
don’t give me that. is that what you’re learning from him? how to talk back after you give us a hard time? you could have died out there!
no, we didn’t know..
you would have known if you did what you were told-- i don’t mind if you have fun, but where and what were you doing all day?!
-
you were out, and the dead bodies came rolling in, we couldn’t warn you not to eat the prey because of you-- no one knew where you were! do you know how worried we’ve been?
i'm sorry.
it’s a little too late for that ravenpaw. i don’t want to deal with you right now. go visit the medicine cat, make sure you wash your mouth with all of that blood from the poison and go fetch some fresh water and do what needs to be done. if you had done what needed to be done, mintpaw would have been alive right now--
ravenpaw cries, regretting the best day of her life-- regretting it all because even the way nightpaw looked at her today couldn’t make up for how stupid and awful you feel right now for mintpaw. you’re consumed by jealousy and neglect and an overwhelming feeling of injustice and guilt.
the world goes on.
the journey
there’s an anxiety that builds in her stomach-- something familiar, typically followed by disaster-- and it bubbles up until it licks at her head. her jawline tickles with some warmth and she feels ill. everyone’s having fun, but she can’t stop the nerves in her tails that makes it twitch like she’s rehearsing the world’s quietest composition.
everyone’s laughing and having fun, but she’s so done.
ravenpaw sees the girls giggle and laugh at something nightpaw says and she feels nervous. she wants to go home (she knows that they can’t go home now that ashenstar has led them to the unknown, but she wants to go back to her clan- not be with these strange cats from other clans), she wants him to take her home, she wants to be out of this place with his pelt brushing her and the warmth of his breath on her cheek. she wants to feel like the only girl who matters again, but it’s hard to do.
(they're all so pretty. they're pretty in ways she’s not, though. she feels like a photograph of the landscape, while they are the actual scene. they talk pretty, they move pretty, there's something pretty about the way they laugh -- they sound like the pretty girls in. it makes her want to cry but her jaw clenches indignantly)
i want to go back
nobody hears her over the chatter (nobody even tries).
ravenpaw tries to catch his eyes as subtly as possible-- it doesn’t work.
she finishes whatever’s left of her prey and gets up, gets out, gets away from the center where all the clan cats are huddling and steps to her father’s warmth. it’s not the golden ship that she wanted-- no whispered secrets. she sit down next to him with a huff- that’s the most rage she can express and sleeps when she realizes that she’s been repeating the same line in her head thirty times
the siren of the springs of guilty song… the siren of the springs of guilty song… the siren of the springs of guilty song…
arrival
she watches nightpaw help build the camp and she sits in the clearing resting her twisted paw-- good god ravenpaw! why don’t you just go have babies with him already! dapplepaw teases. ravenpaw tells them that the main reason she hangs out with him so much is that his family died by the poisoning (of course she ignores the fact that she’s been in love with him the very minute you met him; dapplepaw doesn’t need to know things like that).
she wouldn’t spend time away from nightpaw for the world.
she won’t deny it (-- she’s already unabashedly in love with him, so what else is there to deny?): watching nightpaw makes her heart swoon.
he always finds a way to throw a parade. that's the sort of person he is (she wishes she could be so exciting!) there's this unmistakable way he moves his body, but she doesn’t know how to describe it. with all the cohesion of the letters she sticks together, there's none remotely coherent. there's springs in his steps and she swears she can hear his laughter all the way over here, and it makes her laugh too, clasping paws over her mouth in the recoil of embarrassment
how are you doing?
ashenstar sits down next to her and she looks at her father. sometimes, she loses track of who’s whom, all busy- but she can never lose her father (-- or nightpaw, but that’s a different story).
i’m alright, how are you doing? you look tired, you should rest.
there's still a lot to do, what are you doing? not resting?
there’s a lot to do. what’s worrying you?
starclan-- they haven’t heard anything from them yet.
she looked at her father’s worried gaze, looked at the blackness that was threatening to overwhelm him, and she felt that blackness too- but she couldn’t tell him. she couldn’t tell anyone.
don’t worry. they’ll find us do-- they always do.
she comforted, putting her tail on her father’s shoulder and he blinked in appreciation before standing back up to go organize some patrols. she looked back over at nightpaw, dancing on the edges of the camp walls, threatening to lose his balance and fall to his death. it makes her nervous, almost; but his face looks etched in triumph, chiselled with victory. he looked seasoned with cold, effortless success, and he looks her way before smiling with brambles in his mouth. ravenpaw flushs immediately.
for once, she doubts nightpaw.
for once, she’s afraid he’ll get hurt.
he doesn't.
of course he doesn't,
(but ravenpaw doubted him, and that's the reason she stays up all night-- not the silence of the stars--swathed in the periwinkle glow of the moon, unable to find the stars and her ancestors, and considering maybe -- maybe -- it's time to grow up.
maybe it's time to stop
waiting for nightpaw.)
this layout was made by specklized for fidelis strictly.
anyone who steals this template will be reported.
